I've been paranoid about stepping on a scale for literally years. For some reason, I felt compelled to weigh myself at the gym after an arduous workout last Thursday. It's crazy what a string of good decisions and hard work can reward you with. The reward wasn't necessarily what the scale read back to me (although I was thrilled with my progress), the reward was how OK I felt with challenging myself to step on the scale in the first place! I feel so good about the discipline I've shown myself. I've definitely had people approach me with praises and kind words about the change they're seeing in me physically. As much as I love how that feels, I'm so much more grateful for feeling proud of myself and holding my head up higher than I have in years. One of my primary goals in this program is to get back to playing the recreational sports that had always been a part of my life up until a few years ago. My ego, pride and self worth take a huge hit every single time I step on a basketball court, a soccer or softball field, and I am not able to compete at a level that I am satisfied with. I know that machismo and competitiveness are really at the core of my feeling bad about myself when this happens. Regardless, staying on track in this program will hopefully satisfy my desire to play some competitive team sports soon! 3 weeks down and a lifetime to go!
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