What didn't feel good this week were my calves from all the tough workouts. Soreness just comes with the tear-itory (ha ha) and it was rough this week. I think there are some natural frustrations when you take up a new routine, and its hard to give up control to your trainers and give in to the process. 'Are you sure I'm not doing too many lunges?' Going through a complete live overhaul means there are going to be some tough moments to work through, but my trainers and my family and friends were there with me to pull me through. I have been overwhelmed with love and support, and I'm so thankful for all those who have been cheering me on!
This week we also had our second weekly nutrition counseling session. Uh oh. Over the last few weeks Stacey gave us a crash course in healthy eating, continuing from her advice on day one. She started talking about portion sizes, when to eat carbs and fruits, and when to focus on protein. And then she comes the news: 'No white food!' I fight off the urge to crack a joke about egg WHITES because I know that white food she loves us to eat. But I know what she means. No white bread, no white rice, no white pasta (sigh).
'But how MANY calories?' I would ask Stacey. 'I need a NUMBER!' Of course its not just about calories, and a number, its about being healthy in general, clean eating, organic and veggies and all that stuff. And its also about the timing of the macronutrients (whoa fancy PT jargon), activity level, metabolic rate, etc. I mean yes, it is calories in minus calories out, but what I discovered with counting calories was that I was trying to shave calories off my earlier meals, and skip snacks during the day, thereby plunging my metabolism, then binging on high sugar, high carb snacks just before bedtime which of course would just be stored as fat. Its about keeping your fat burning furnace stoking all day. Its about making sure protein is there when you eat carbs.
'What, you mean bacon is not on the diet? Oh ok!'
I was sure that if I just counted the calories I could eat bacon. Uhg, I guess that's why 3/4 of diet is DIE, there is a sense of missing all the greasy, salty, sugary, yummy, foods that got me where I am today. This change is not a temporary thing, its about forever eating a healthy diet. Its not just about sticking to a number, and eating that number's worth of bacon a day, its about fueling your human machine with good stuff, the stuff we were made to run on. And for the time being, sure I have to turn down the excitement on ice cream sundaes and french fries, and embrace spaghetti squash in lieu of pasta. I am really living the idea that dieting doesn't mean DIE all tasty foods, because that is a recipe for breakdown. I'm learning to redefine what it means to indulge, curb cravings with healthier treats, make a game plan in advance for eating out healthfully, and to explore new and different foods I might not otherwise eat. There is so much to know and learn, and I keep hearing more at each session. I think in the beginning I expected the trainers to download all of their knowledge about exercise and fitness to my head at one time, but its a process. It takes time.
There will be a day I will eat bacon, just not today. Not while I'm losing fat. Someday I'll be my ideal weight and I can strive to maintain weight rather than loose and then I will have any food I like, just in moderation, and in balance with my activity level. So this last week for me was definitely about diet. We keep weekly logs about what we ate, and yes my app counts calories which is useful in learning how calorie dense certain foods are if nothing else. Between eating 6 times per day, logging it, the 'shop chop and mop' required for healthy homemade meals, and drinking a gallon of water per day (and the related peeing), I feel like IT is invading every minute of my life. It? It! This healthy living thing. I find myself reading articles on the health benefits of kale instead of seeing what celeb got surgery at the grocery store checkout, and picking up 'eating light' and searching out healthy recipes. I am learning to eat healthier foods and even to enjoy them. Today I even made kale chips, and they weren't half bad. And after reading all those articles about what a super food it is, I'm feeling like super Babs!
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